Kitchen cabinet do-over

We have a plan for this remodel and addition, really we do. But when the microwave bit it at the same time Lowes was having a sale on appliances, things took a left turn. Since we were going to eventually update the kitchen anyway, I did what I always do..........start a project before we're really ready. It's the thing Joe loves about me the most :) I suppose I could have just bought the microwave but why would I ever want anything to be that easy?

This is what I did 8 years ago. Yup. I did that. It actually used to have fruit wallpaper and burgundy paint. And sadly I did that too.

 If we were going to make this house last forever then we were going to have to do something about this so I could pretend it never happened. First of all, since it is a fact that I am an excellent painter, I thought I could totally paint these. After researching a bazillion other blogs out there claiming that "painting your cabinets is a quick, easy and inexpensive way to update your kitchen", I figured I totally got this! Well, I would like to thank those blogs for inching me one step closer to the loony bin. Fuck all those blogs. They are lying sacks of shit. This project was a complete debacle, and I'M A GOOD PAINTER DAMMIT!

Here's how it went...... Cabinets came off and were cleaned and primed. From previous experience I have found this Zinsser Cover stain primer to be the best. I rolled it on because it's oil based and I didn't want to dick around with cleaning it out of the sprayer.

                                                 




Then an argument between

Joe and I ensued about 

whether to lay them flat

to spray them

Or hang them

So I took his advice and hung them. I bought a sprayer by Wagner that claimed to be for smooth surfaces, you can see it there in the left hand corner, and went to town. The sprayer was a disaster. It looked like Barney spit mashed potatoes all over the doors. I told Joe I thought I needed a sprayer that hooked up to an air compressor. He points to the back wall of the garage and says, "you mean like the one hanging right there" (little silver thing hanging to the left of black and white poster). Shit balls! YES! That's exactly what I need! Why didn't you tell me we had that? And no I couldn't see it hanging in plain sight so shut up! He does this to get back at me for not asking for help. Swear. 

That sprayer did work better but it takes A LOT of practice. And by the time I got it down I had a drippy mess. I'd sanded and repainted so many times I wanted to die. I called my mom in a full on emotional breakdown, (because that's who you call at 36 years of age when you are having a full on emotional break down), and she told me to just give it up and call the guy that had just done a bunch of painting at her house. I knew I could still handle rolling the boxes and frames, but the doors were a lost cause. So I called Ron the painter man, confessed my failure, and asked for a quote to paint 23 doors and drawer fronts. $200. What?!?!?! I've wasted more than that in paint......and beer. He came over the next day and saved my ass. If any of you live in central Iowa and need a fabulous painter man, message me and I'll get you his info. He returned to me the most perfectly smooth and beautiful doors a girl could ask for.